THE IMPORTANCE OF BOUNDARIES

Puppies, kittens, baby birds-so cute and loving--who could resist? We know they’re a responsibility, sometimes a nuisance, but our hearts are caught and we take one home. The novelty soon wears off as our animals grow and reality sets in--messes on the carpet, destroyed couches, plants and gardens torn up, woodwork and chairs chewed beyond repair. Our pets often suffer the most-abandoned, neglected, given away, birds stuck in a back room somewhere--we blame it on the animal, hardly stopping to think that we too share responsibility.

We have neglected a number one rule in caring for our animals-establishing clear-cut boundaries--guidelines for shaping and shifting inherent behaviors into ones more acceptable and appropriate. We love our pets so much we often forget they’re not human. They are animals brought into our homes and lives, with sometimes little thought as to how well they might actually fit. Behaviors that go overlooked or even encouraged) when young, cute and cuddly quickly become nuisances (or worse) with time. Understanding your pet’s natural behavioral tendencies makes it impossible to foster a better human-animal interaction.

There are generalized behaviors specific to each type of animal, and behaviors more specific to particular breeds or species. Individual animals of course also have their own unique predispositions. While all dogs bark, some breeds bark more readily than others. Likewise some breeds are more prone to dig or burrow than others, or to be more social, or protective. All birds vocalize and tend to be messy, yet some types are more gregarious or messier than others. Understanding breed or species tendencies beforehand goes a long way toward preventing angry venting, frustration or disappointment afterwards.

Once you understand your animal’s innate behavioral tendencies, it is important to shape them to fit your own needs and lifestyle. This is where boundaries and guidelines come in. There are four major types of boundaries to consider: boundaries of time, attention, space and behavior.

Time and attention boundaries go hand-in-hand. A new pet is fun and exciting. We spend all of our spare time with it-- until, that is, the novelty wears off. Unfortunately by this time our pet has become dependent on us for fun and excitement, and quickly becomes bored when we pay it less attention. This is when nuisance or destructive behaviors set in-- behaviors that are really just outgrowths of natural tendencies--chewing, digging, excessive vocalization and so on. Setting clearer (and more realistic) time boundaries to begin with--structured time for play or interaction, plenty of toys for alone time-- teaches an animal to be more self-reliant rather than expecting us to be at its every beek and call. Being respectful of our pet’s very real attentional needs is also important--taking the time to greet your pet after a day away can for instance go far in avoiding potential problems (screaming birds, dogs or cats that act out, etc.).

Space boundaries are also important. It is the owner’s responsibility to clearly define what is off-limits and what is not. Giving an animal free reign in house or yard is often asking for trouble. Fencing off gardens or newly planted trees, closing doors, or placing your bird on a perch or play-stand away from treasured woodwork are simple measures that can go far, yet often go unthought of until too late. Many training aids are also available to teach your animal which areas are off-limits. All are effective and certainly more humane alternatives than punishing your pet for engaging in natural behaviors.

Setting appropriate behavioral boundaries with pets is also crucial. If we don’t want dogs that jump on us, sit in our laps or climb on our bed it’s best to set these boundaries initially-regardless of who cute or cuddly our puppies might be. Likewise establishing a clear set of commands for basic behaviors goes a long way--a firm “up’ and “down” command with young birds can avoid many potential problems later on, as can a strong ‘here” or “come” for dogs. Bark collars are also available- -including one that relies on a squirt of citronella rather than electric shock for effectiveness.

Flower essences also help in modifying natural tendencies and behaviors. Cherry plum, chestnut bud, walnut, vervain, chicory-- these are but a few of the many essences useful in working with your animals. For best results, combinations can be tailored to fit specific needs. Consultation with an animal specialist is advised.